Welcome to my new blog! I have just been feeling the need to make some personal changes find a fresh start for 2012. I am in desperate need of a makeover and I'm not talkin' about my physical appearance (although that wouldn't be totally bad!) I have experienced a few disappointing things lately and some things that haven't turned our just the way I would have liked which have resulted in excessive moodiness, cursing, crying, feeling sorry for myself, complaining, and possibly *cringe* some tantruming. I've had to take a long, hard look at myself and say, "What is wrong with you crazy lady?!" I have SO MUCH in my life to be happy and grateful for, I am blessed beyond measure. I have put forth too much effort focusing on the bad and not enough time counting those blessings and being thankful for all that God has given me. Things may not be going my way, but what I haven't stopped to think about is that this is all part of a plan. I may not see it and I am surely not understanding it, but I should have faith. And lately, I've been running a little low on that.
So I have been thinking about my New Years Resolution and wondering how I can give myself that much needed makeover. Hence, my New Year's Resolution to curse less and pray more. As I mentioned above, I have a tendency to focus on the negative, whine, and I also have a potty mouth. I seem to have forgotten that I have a very beautiful,impressionable, admiring, Pete the Repeat parrot who wants to be just like mommy. Being her mom is the most important job that I will ever have. It might not come with a paycheck, but is more rewarding than anything money can buy. Lately I have let my own disappointment and hurt feelings get in the way of being a good mom and setting a good example for her. Shame on me. Being a mom can be so hard sometimes and it's a 24 hour job. Her precious little eyes are always on me and I never want to let her down or look less in her eyes. This is where the second part of my resolution comes in. Pray more. I talk to God, but not nearly as often as I should. I know that being closer to Him will not only bring me comfort and peace with my own problems, but make me a better wife and mother. And what is more important that being the very best me I can be for the two loves of my life? I found a website called MODsquad (MOD= mothers of daughters.) It is a blog dedicated to encouraging and inspiring moms to raise daughters with purity, character, and hearts for God. This would not typically be my type of reading material, but I have read a lot of posts on it this morning and I am incredibly inspired...and I pretty much feel like the worst mom EVER. But I can do better. I read this post, and I love it and it sums up what I want to say, but could never put into words so eloquently. From "Leaving a Legacy of Hope" posted by Lara 12-14-11:
"Our girls learn from us. They watch how we handle trials. They soak in our responses to life. And eventually they reflect what they see. Lord, help them.
We serve a gracious God who keeps them close in spite of our many failures. He can mend any wound we may leave on their souls. And I do praise Him for that.
But how wonderful it would be to live in a place of hope so that our girls would see a mama who stands firm in spite of the ever-changing tides of life."
In grad school, all of my professors have drilled into our heads a simple method of classroom instruction "I do, we do, you do" which is basically model first, practice together, and then when they are ready allow students to practice independently to assess whether or not they've got it. I believe this can be applied to parenting as well seeing as how, especially with young children, parents are their teachers. I will pray more. I will pray in front of Addy, and I will pray with Addy in hopes that I can teach my daughter to go to God with a praying heart. This is my resolution, this is the makeover that I need.
I hope that this time next year I can reflect back on this day and feel proud of my journey and of the progress that I have made within myself.
I follow a blog of an old friend of mine from all the way back in high school. She has two gorgeous little girls and she is a fantastic mom. Valerie, if you ever read this, you are an inspiration and you have very lucky daughters! She counts blessings on her blog in almost every post. I love that, what a great way to remind yourself of all the wonderful things in your life, even on days where it is hard to see through the hectic chaos of laundry, diapers, fits, toys, and dogs. I am going to steal that idea and see how many I can count in a year :)
1. Thankful for this sweet little puppy that lays at my feet as I type. She is usually adding to the disaster by ripping, nipping, and barking every which way, but she is extra sweet right now and I am happy Olive has joined our family.
2. Thankful for extra long nap time. Addy has been out for almost 3 hours. It has given me time to get my thoughts together for this blog and do some extra reading....and watch reruns of Will and Grace on Lifetime :)
3. Thankful for being able to Spend New Years Eve with good friends that we don't get to see often. I'm looking forward to a night in with the Hollidays and hopefully the Murleys.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!